Posted tagged ‘pregnancy’

Becoming a Dad – 30-Weeks Passed & Baby Registry Advice

September 23, 2009

Hello Readers,

I wanted to update you guys on our progress. We passed the 30-week mark yesterday and are now nine-weeks and six-days away from the arrival of our baby boy. Mom-to-be had her doctor’s visit yesterday and let’s just say our little masterpiece is growing a LOT in there.

According to Babycenter‘s estimate he should be over three pounds now and it feels like it. He’s kicking regularly and I’m starting to guess what bodyparts I’m feeling when he’s not deep down in her pelvis. I know hee’s going to be a strong little boy. I was listening on his mom’s stomach the other night and the kid was kicking me square in the jaw. Good job baby. You sir, are ahead of schedule! 🙂

amazonbabyAnyways, I wanted to write a quick note on the baby registry we recently put together.

For many couples, creating a baby registry seems to be one of the bigger stress points of preparing for the arrival of a new baby and rightfully so. As first-timers, we had no idea what to expect. From researching products online to what you see in the store, it can be a little daunting.

Fear not, I thought. Everyone told us we wouldn’t need so much. Just the essentials they said. We chose Babies-R-Us on the recommendation that they had a robust selection of everything we needed. We picked a Saturday afternoon with the mindset that we’d get it done quickly. No big deal right?

So can you guess what happened? We went into the store and without even noticing it, we spent over TWO HOURS on this thing. For those of you who have never done a baby registry before, let me tell you what it’s like….

They have this little section under a baby registry sign. Target, Babies-R-Us, even places like Burlington Coat Factory… all the stores have them. There’s a desk there, usually in front of some expensive cribs, where couples can sit and get ‘counseling’ on everything new parents might need. After filling out a form and getting recommendations, the store rep gives you a scanner, which looks like a weapon out of Star Wars and then….

…You run amok.

After all the advice, words of wisdom, and self-inflicted discipline we had influencing our mindset, mom-to-be and I just went insane in there. See, it’s hard to control yourself when you’ve got this little scanner in your hand and you’re just going up and down the aisles literally looking at every single item deciding on what you ‘think’ you’ll need. And since the purpose of the registry is scanning items meant to be gifted to you, when you’re undecided about something… you’ll err on the side of scanning it anyway. Personally, I don’t think we did so bad on our initial baby registry but we did spend two hours in there.

If I had to do it over again or had to advise others on the task of putting together a baby registry, I’d give them the following advice.

Dad-to-be’s Tips on Creating a Baby Registry

  • Start early on (probably around the five-month marker) – the earlier you think about putting your list together, the more time you have to modify, edit, and really think about what you need.
  • Do some research prior to making your registry – Especially for the big-ticket items like cribs and strollers, look around online and see which ones are easiest to put together/take apart, what is rated as most safe, etc. before walking in.
  • Find a store that allows you to create and edit your baby registry online – In this day and age, it’s a huge timesaver to be able to create and review this stuff on the go.
  • Leave clothing off the list or don’t focus on it – We did this because we figure that everyone that doesn’t buy gifts off the registry will end up buying clothing. It’s just too easy for people to do. Plus the fact that parents can neglect the fact that babies grow up quickly. I know they throw up, make messes, etc. but you don’t want to stockpile your closet, much less your registry, with clothes you may not need.
  • Determine your motif for your nursery – We haven’t made our nursery yet but we know we want to focus on animals and the natural world. That helped a bunch when deciding between different things. Some stuff just went good together.
  • Don’t forget the essentials– some things you can’t go without: infant carrier/car seat, portable crib, diapers (lots of them), infant tub, baby monitor, bassinet, crib, changing table, stroller.
  • Use a check list – This does help you remember what you need. And most stores provide them for all the categories like bedding, furniture, bath, diaper needs, feeding, etc.
  • And my number one tip– Don’t be afraid to ask for suggestions. Especially from new parents who share the same values as you. Ask them what to put on your baby registry and have them take a look at it after you put it together.

Fortunately for us, mom-to-be did that with our registry and our dear friend Liz, a fellow mom AND mom-to-be in December, our baby registry is now fully optimized after she gave it a thorough review.

Thanks Liz. We couldn’t have done this without you.

Note: If you like to review our finished list and/or help us welcome our little boy into the world, you can find our baby registry here.


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Becoming a Dad – Labor Day Getaway

September 7, 2009

I’m not good at surprises.

Hence, it was a challenge for me to keep plans for Labor Day Weekend secret from Mom-to-Be. Nothing too fancy but I decided to take her to San Antonio for the weekend. One of the main reasons was to enjoy the River Walk, visit the Alamo, etc. but the main thing I wanted to do was just take her away for the weekend.

Just the two of us. Enjoying each other’s company.

And you know what? Despite the fact that we stopped a bunch of times along the way… Despite the fact that all the walking was highly uncomfortable for the both of us… And despite the fact that a sweet old lady rear-ended my brand-new car while I followed Megan and her Aunt to lunch… It was all worth it.

Well… except for the car part. That continues to sting. I hadn’t even put my new plates on the car yet. *sniffle* But thank God it’s minor. I think I can fix the damage.

The best part of the trip wasn’t the Alamo, nor the Riverwalk, or any of the other tourist-like activities…. What I enjoyed most was the process. Like driving down I-10 with a keen eye for cool small towns, interesting markets, and of course Buc-ee’s for beef jerky. That was the most fun of the whole trip. Doing all the simple things, just Megan and I.

I guess this trip was like a microcosm for how I’m experiencing this whole pregnancy.

We have a baby coming in about 12 weeks now. While I continue to plan and look ahead, I’m also enjoying every moment while it lasts. Just me and Megan. Handling every challenge that comes our way. Enjoying every minute we have together before the infamous “and then there were three.”

It’s funny… She thinks I neglect her sometimes…. I have NO CLUE why. because little does she know that she and our son are already the most important parts of my life. The journey that we’re on… Even though we’ll always say the best part is yet to come… She has no clue that I secretly cherish every single moment already.

Except the hormones.

Please click the banner to vote for this blog! – Mike & Megan (and baby boy)

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Those of you who know Megan can ask her about how she kidnapped me after we got back to Houston. I won’t throw her under the bus this time. ♥

Becoming a Dad – Third Trimester Here We Come!

August 31, 2009

There are only 92 days left until our boy’s due date and we are racing fast and furiously to get ready.

Mom-to-be and I arrive for the last three months of pregnancy battle-tested and intact after having gone through some interesting experiences the past six months including: a) moving to our place after having roommates b) her car being totaled due to flooding c) mom-to-be being in a car accident… d) …which totaled dad-to-be’s car e) unexpected medical bills f) etc. etc.

I think all those challenges were put in front of us to help us get ready for what’s coming. I really think that all those hardships helped us toughen up from being kids ourselves to grow into our roles as parents-to-be.

In the last six months we’ve made progress to to get ready for our boy’s arrival.

bellyheartTo begin with, we’ve began the nesting phase! The rocking chair and changing table are all set up  and ready to go. The crib is not far behind after I got it in the door this past weekend. Now we just have to worry about registering at Target and Babies-R-Us for the whole baby shower thing and it should take care of itself for awhile.

Lately it has been all about cars for us also. We managed to survive with only one vehicle for the majority of this pregnancy and survived the last month without one at all after the wreck! Now, after shopping and negotiating with car dealers (Not fun), we finally got two in the garage as of this past weekend. And they are a mid-sized sedan and an SUV just like we wanted in the first place! Special Thanks from Meg and I to my mom & dad for loaning us one of theirs in the interim. We would have never managed otherwise so bless our luck for having such awesome parents.

Most importantly for us as an impending family, we’ve finally got budgets have been put together and (most) unnecessary spending has been curbed. For example, I used to order food twice every day not thinking it was a big deal. Now I realize that’s about $400 a month for nothing but calories and a growing belly. So now, this daddy eats breakfast at home and packs a lunch for work or he doesn’t eat at all. Same with mom-to-be on being smart with food costs. We figured out that once we got used to it, our lifestyle didn’t really change very much minus wasted money and bad-for-you calories. It’s going that way for a lot of things. Tracking where the money is going… Such a novel concept that I could never understand as a bachelor.

All in all, I think we’re going to be as prepared as can be. Of course I think we can do more to get ready every single day, but that’s just me being neurotic and paranoid. I feel my baby kick at night and just want us to make the best world for him. Megan says I fall asleep with my hard on her belly and start snoring, only to pause and giggle like a kid myself every time the baby kicks hard.  I just love him so much already and I know his momma does too so we’re trying to do the best we can.

Some Questions I Have for you parents out there…

  1. sepia-handsBanking the Umbilical Cord – This costs lots of money. I’ve read the pros and cons. Now I want to hear from some actual parents… Is this worth the cost?
  2. Daycare Search – I need some advice in terms of how to search for the best daycare possible, like – What should we be watching out for? What questions do we need to ask? And what should we avoid?
  3. Birthing Classes – I don’t think we’ll do this. They cost so much money and I heard the epidural is the only thing Megan will need. Does anyone has any reasons to go to these classes besides the ‘experience’ factor?
  4. Packing the Hospital Bag – When should we make sure we have a bag packed for the hospital? And what should go in it?
  5. Everything Else – What should I be worried about in the third trimester? Any words of wisdom or warnings welcome.

For the rest of the ‘Becoming a Dad’ Series – click here.

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Becoming a Dad – Painful Lesson Learned

July 1, 2009
HungoverMonkeyJAN09

I was told by a great many people that my last post on Becoming a Dad was very sweet. That was the overall reaction.  But to be fair, I’d like to give a full summation of both extremes in terms of reactions before I share another anecdote with you guys.

Most of the women, especially the more experienced ones (I won’t say “older” for fear of revenge), remarked that it was good for me that I was “finally getting it” when they talked about my desire to be home with mother-to-be. In fact, many close friends told me they were very proud of the fact that I’ve not only embraced this pregnancy with open-arms but also seem to be growing into the role of eventual father.

Meanwhile, on the other end of the spectrum, calls came flooding in from the DNC Ninja support team (mainly Steve aka “Lightweight”) to rescue me from estrogen before my man-card was lost into the torrential abyss for all of eternity.

For those of you that don’t know, the DNC, on whose website this series is housed, was founded on two basic tenets: 1) personal accountability and 2) balance between professional goals and enjoyment of life aka partying. So my friends like Steve know a thing or two about being trying to maintain equilibrium in life. Well last Saturday, I was reminded of how far I still have to go in terms of mastering that balance.

The DNC crew was celebrating for two ninjas this past weekend in Rice Village. For our Houston crew, Jino, our little prodigical son, had his going-away prior to leaving for grad school at Johns Hopkins. Meanwhile, our ninjas in Baytown were also in the village bar-area to celebrate Julian’s birthday.

So there you have it,  a convergence of about twenty people, a roving band of ninjas, if you will, on a “boys night out” and hell bent on getting obliterated. Keep in mind we had none of the wives or girlfriends around to police us except for poor Katie, who tried her hardest. So what the heck happened? Well I won’t get into the details… (this  is a family-friendly site after all) but let me tell you, whatever you are thinking, the evening ended up 100x crazier than most of you responsible adults would expect. I didn’t fare the worst out of all the ninjas but I definitely made a total a$$ out of myself by the time it was all said and done. We were all hurting the next day. I still am. And its the Wednesday after.

My point to this story that I learned the hard way – Mother-to-be wasn’t the type of partner to make me stay home. Again, she encouraged me to go out with the boys. This time, I absolutely did. Balls-to-the-wall, you might say! I didn’t expect the price I ultimately had to pay and I paid it dearly the next day and beyond. Mentally, physically, emotionally, the whole nine yards. And while Megan wasn’t the type to make me stay home, she also impressed upon me that she is the type to let me hang myself without any sympathy from her. Basically, as I whimpered around the house limping in pain and wrecked mentally, all I got was snickering and I-told-you-so’s. I’m never drinking again. (for the 10,000th time but I had to throw that in there.)

I guess this might be a little glimpse into the future of raising a child with rebellious genese like his/her parents. I mean, I acted like a child myself and paid for it dearly. So I learned my own lesson. And the lesson was even more effective than any “nagging” from mother-to-be could possibly have done. I wonder, is that how it truly is? Do you have to let them fall so they learn to pick themselves up or not fall the same way again?

Just a thought…

Mike

PS –  We find out the sex of the baby next Tuesday. I am so #&$*% nervous.

Becoming a Dad – Coming Home

June 26, 2009

baby

Currently Week 18.

So it’s Friday night a little past 10pm in Houston and I’m already home. Earlier this evening after I had cooked her dinner, mother-to-be was actually urging me to go out with the guys. Although she certainly demands a good deal of attention, I’m also told that I need time with the boys and that she really only cares about me being home early on weekdays. Now I definitely appreciate that. I agree that a little balance is healthy for both me and her. So tonight I went to Loggia in Sugar Land with my brother and a few of the boys. It’s always nice catching up with them and being a guy doing what guys do. (drink beer, talk sports, etc.) On top of that, my friends can be real goofs so its usually hilarious when we sit around no matter where we are, much less in a bar environment with lots of ammo for discussion. Good times indeed.

“Stay out as long as you want,” she says. I had every intention of having a drunken good time tonight like the old days…. or five months ago, depending on how you look at it. But after a few hours, what I came to realize though was that I wanted to be home. I couldn’t quite explain it to myself but I felt the urge to just break off and take it to the house. It’s like that more and more every passing day. I’m feeling so madly in love with everything that is coming in my life to be. And I’m excited to make it all happen starting now. I’ve even let go of a lot of what I would call “crutches” lately.

The baby books say that sometimes it takes awhile to fully realize what having a baby truly means and how it will impact your life. In my case, I’ve embraces this thing since day one but around a month ago it became very real to me, mentally. I think it was that way for both of us. Early on, your mind gets so caught up in the impending responsibility, sacrifice, and life change that you don’t really get a chance to truly reflect and just, well, breathe, until it fully sinks in. I guess for me that time is now.

So what are my thoughts during this moment of reflection?

Well, for one, I feel corny as hell writing this. LOL. I can almost hear the Doogie Howser music playing in my head. I’m fighting the urge to hit delete for fear that my man card will get taken away and I know I’ll get made fun of by my boys who read this blog so lets just go ahead and throw that out there.

On the other hand, everything I’m saying and feeling is real. I’m being absolutely true to myself and I think its important for my kid to know how I felt at this moment during some intermittent moment in the future. Also, I want to relay these thoughts completely if I’m truly going to be transparent about my experience as a man during this pregnancy. Those of you who haven’t gone through this will truly not know the joys of it until you’re there yourself. Then you’ll know.

Lastly, I just want to share… Megan is actually on the other couch next to me quietly watching this retarded chick flick on TV. She’s doing her own thing and I’m doing mine writing. She doesn’t even know what I’m thinking about/working on but I think she looks so adorable just sitting there. I keep stealing glances. Ha! I guess I don’t mind being home at all. Nowhere else I’d rather be. 🙂

Mike

P.S. – I felt the baby moving in her belly for the first time ever this week!