Posted tagged ‘expectant father’

Becoming a Dad – Find Out the Sex of Our Baby

July 7, 2009

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For those of you wondering – I saved my immediate reactions earlier from while I was in the waiting room and immediately after I found out the sex of our baby while mom-to-be was getting dressed.

July 7 – 10:30am

Megan must be inside getting her ultrasound done. When they called her name earlier, we were walking in together and I was immediately accosted at the doorway by this cold and unfeeling nurse, who said they were “only taking patients. we’ll call family when we’re ready for you.” &$%@… So I’ve been waiting outside imaging for almost two hours now. Thankfully, I’m actually not as nervous as I thought I would be… That probably has something to do with the fact that I barely slept last night, brooding of life’s possibilities and the differences between having a son or a daughter. Well, actually it was alternating between those thoughts to playing video games and back that kept me occupied. I wore myself out. And now, I think I’ll be at peace either way. After all, ultimately I guess no matter what we have, we’re going to have to raise this child the same exact way, the best we can. We’ll see what happens in a few minutes.

July 7 – 11:15am

Oh my God – words can’t express how happy I feel right now! Inevitably, I knew I’d be emotional during this but whatever I thought I was going to feel at this moment pales in comparison to the joy that is running through me. I never cried such tears of happiness in my life. When the nurse came and got me, it felt so suspenseful, the walk back towards the exam room. I felt almost tunnel-visioned, and if I could have quieted down my thoughts to a non-screaming level, I swear I could have felt my heart beat out of my chest. And when I got to Megan and saw the nurse moving the ultrasound stick thing around, I was so mentally prepared to hear that our baby was a girl. Then it happened. The nurse found what she was looking for and told us so matter of factly that our baby was in fact a boy! Oh believe me, it was a big blur from there. All I can recall was clapping my hands loud and sort of leaping up in an immediate and spontaneous reaction. I think my feet actually left the ground for a second before I hugged and kissed Megan. Now mind you, I actually tried to promise to myself that I wouldn’t cry. I actually held together pretty well other than a tear or two, but then the nurse left the room and I completely broke down in tears all over poor Megan. Crying like the little girl that I thought I would have. Happier than I’ve ever been in my entire life. And as we were leaving the Doctor’s office, I just wanted to tell everyone I saw as I walked by. Walking out the door, I actually made eye contact at some poor guy that was probably waiting for his own spouse. Fist pump, “It’s a BOY!

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Becoming a Dad – Coming Home

June 26, 2009

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Currently Week 18.

So it’s Friday night a little past 10pm in Houston and I’m already home. Earlier this evening after I had cooked her dinner, mother-to-be was actually urging me to go out with the guys. Although she certainly demands a good deal of attention, I’m also told that I need time with the boys and that she really only cares about me being home early on weekdays. Now I definitely appreciate that. I agree that a little balance is healthy for both me and her. So tonight I went to Loggia in Sugar Land with my brother and a few of the boys. It’s always nice catching up with them and being a guy doing what guys do. (drink beer, talk sports, etc.) On top of that, my friends can be real goofs so its usually hilarious when we sit around no matter where we are, much less in a bar environment with lots of ammo for discussion. Good times indeed.

“Stay out as long as you want,” she says. I had every intention of having a drunken good time tonight like the old days…. or five months ago, depending on how you look at it. But after a few hours, what I came to realize though was that I wanted to be home. I couldn’t quite explain it to myself but I felt the urge to just break off and take it to the house. It’s like that more and more every passing day. I’m feeling so madly in love with everything that is coming in my life to be. And I’m excited to make it all happen starting now. I’ve even let go of a lot of what I would call “crutches” lately.

The baby books say that sometimes it takes awhile to fully realize what having a baby truly means and how it will impact your life. In my case, I’ve embraces this thing since day one but around a month ago it became very real to me, mentally. I think it was that way for both of us. Early on, your mind gets so caught up in the impending responsibility, sacrifice, and life change that you don’t really get a chance to truly reflect and just, well, breathe, until it fully sinks in. I guess for me that time is now.

So what are my thoughts during this moment of reflection?

Well, for one, I feel corny as hell writing this. LOL. I can almost hear the Doogie Howser music playing in my head. I’m fighting the urge to hit delete for fear that my man card will get taken away and I know I’ll get made fun of by my boys who read this blog so lets just go ahead and throw that out there.

On the other hand, everything I’m saying and feeling is real. I’m being absolutely true to myself and I think its important for my kid to know how I felt at this moment during some intermittent moment in the future. Also, I want to relay these thoughts completely if I’m truly going to be transparent about my experience as a man during this pregnancy. Those of you who haven’t gone through this will truly not know the joys of it until you’re there yourself. Then you’ll know.

Lastly, I just want to share… Megan is actually on the other couch next to me quietly watching this retarded chick flick on TV. She’s doing her own thing and I’m doing mine writing. She doesn’t even know what I’m thinking about/working on but I think she looks so adorable just sitting there. I keep stealing glances. Ha! I guess I don’t mind being home at all. Nowhere else I’d rather be. 🙂

Mike

P.S. – I felt the baby moving in her belly for the first time ever this week!