Archive for the ‘Fatherhood’ category

Becoming a Dad – Fireworks & a Birthplace

July 5, 2009

Fourth of July – Texas Style

So this was my first Fourth of July without the traditional beer and BBQ. It was also certainly my last Independence Day prior to becoming a dad. Both startling thoughts.

Megan and I decided to celebrate in an entirely different way this year, traveling to the birthplace of Texas to celebrate the birthplace of our nation. Now when we embarked on this journey, I had no idea what to expect. After all, I thought that Texas came from a little old place we like to call Mexico. But what I discovered an hour and a half away from home  in Washington on the Brazos State Park was something I appreciated way more than watching silly fireworks.

We wandered around for a good while after we got to the park. Outside of walking the trails, taking pictures besides the barn where they signed the TX Declaration of Independence, and spending time with our good friends, the Talavera’s, who also made the trek, the greatest joy I gleamed from this experience was learning that this was one of Megan’s favorite places in her own childhood. Seeing the joy in her manner as she taught me about the history of the place (what happened there), what animals made the tracks by the lake (probably dogs), and the names of common TX wildflowers (red – Indian Paintbrush, blue – Bluebonnet, yellow – One-Eyed Susans) – that was what made this trip to Washington, TX worthwhile for me.

Just so you know, I’m pretty much an inside-cat and not an outdoor one. But going to this place was even worth the allergic reaction on the way home (horrible), the splinters and blisters on both feet, (painful) and the mildly-sprained ankle from the fields we parked in. (annoying) If for nothing else than the fact that I was able to get to know the mother of my child just a little bit better. I wouldn’t have traded it for all the beer and BBQ in the world.

Below are some pictures from our trip to Washington on the Brazos State Park.

Becoming a Dad – Painful Lesson Learned

July 1, 2009
HungoverMonkeyJAN09

I was told by a great many people that my last post on Becoming a Dad was very sweet. That was the overall reaction.  But to be fair, I’d like to give a full summation of both extremes in terms of reactions before I share another anecdote with you guys.

Most of the women, especially the more experienced ones (I won’t say “older” for fear of revenge), remarked that it was good for me that I was “finally getting it” when they talked about my desire to be home with mother-to-be. In fact, many close friends told me they were very proud of the fact that I’ve not only embraced this pregnancy with open-arms but also seem to be growing into the role of eventual father.

Meanwhile, on the other end of the spectrum, calls came flooding in from the DNC Ninja support team (mainly Steve aka “Lightweight”) to rescue me from estrogen before my man-card was lost into the torrential abyss for all of eternity.

For those of you that don’t know, the DNC, on whose website this series is housed, was founded on two basic tenets: 1) personal accountability and 2) balance between professional goals and enjoyment of life aka partying. So my friends like Steve know a thing or two about being trying to maintain equilibrium in life. Well last Saturday, I was reminded of how far I still have to go in terms of mastering that balance.

The DNC crew was celebrating for two ninjas this past weekend in Rice Village. For our Houston crew, Jino, our little prodigical son, had his going-away prior to leaving for grad school at Johns Hopkins. Meanwhile, our ninjas in Baytown were also in the village bar-area to celebrate Julian’s birthday.

So there you have it,  a convergence of about twenty people, a roving band of ninjas, if you will, on a “boys night out” and hell bent on getting obliterated. Keep in mind we had none of the wives or girlfriends around to police us except for poor Katie, who tried her hardest. So what the heck happened? Well I won’t get into the details… (this  is a family-friendly site after all) but let me tell you, whatever you are thinking, the evening ended up 100x crazier than most of you responsible adults would expect. I didn’t fare the worst out of all the ninjas but I definitely made a total a$$ out of myself by the time it was all said and done. We were all hurting the next day. I still am. And its the Wednesday after.

My point to this story that I learned the hard way – Mother-to-be wasn’t the type of partner to make me stay home. Again, she encouraged me to go out with the boys. This time, I absolutely did. Balls-to-the-wall, you might say! I didn’t expect the price I ultimately had to pay and I paid it dearly the next day and beyond. Mentally, physically, emotionally, the whole nine yards. And while Megan wasn’t the type to make me stay home, she also impressed upon me that she is the type to let me hang myself without any sympathy from her. Basically, as I whimpered around the house limping in pain and wrecked mentally, all I got was snickering and I-told-you-so’s. I’m never drinking again. (for the 10,000th time but I had to throw that in there.)

I guess this might be a little glimpse into the future of raising a child with rebellious genese like his/her parents. I mean, I acted like a child myself and paid for it dearly. So I learned my own lesson. And the lesson was even more effective than any “nagging” from mother-to-be could possibly have done. I wonder, is that how it truly is? Do you have to let them fall so they learn to pick themselves up or not fall the same way again?

Just a thought…

Mike

PS –  We find out the sex of the baby next Tuesday. I am so #&$*% nervous.

Becoming a Dad – Coming Home

June 26, 2009

baby

Currently Week 18.

So it’s Friday night a little past 10pm in Houston and I’m already home. Earlier this evening after I had cooked her dinner, mother-to-be was actually urging me to go out with the guys. Although she certainly demands a good deal of attention, I’m also told that I need time with the boys and that she really only cares about me being home early on weekdays. Now I definitely appreciate that. I agree that a little balance is healthy for both me and her. So tonight I went to Loggia in Sugar Land with my brother and a few of the boys. It’s always nice catching up with them and being a guy doing what guys do. (drink beer, talk sports, etc.) On top of that, my friends can be real goofs so its usually hilarious when we sit around no matter where we are, much less in a bar environment with lots of ammo for discussion. Good times indeed.

“Stay out as long as you want,” she says. I had every intention of having a drunken good time tonight like the old days…. or five months ago, depending on how you look at it. But after a few hours, what I came to realize though was that I wanted to be home. I couldn’t quite explain it to myself but I felt the urge to just break off and take it to the house. It’s like that more and more every passing day. I’m feeling so madly in love with everything that is coming in my life to be. And I’m excited to make it all happen starting now. I’ve even let go of a lot of what I would call “crutches” lately.

The baby books say that sometimes it takes awhile to fully realize what having a baby truly means and how it will impact your life. In my case, I’ve embraces this thing since day one but around a month ago it became very real to me, mentally. I think it was that way for both of us. Early on, your mind gets so caught up in the impending responsibility, sacrifice, and life change that you don’t really get a chance to truly reflect and just, well, breathe, until it fully sinks in. I guess for me that time is now.

So what are my thoughts during this moment of reflection?

Well, for one, I feel corny as hell writing this. LOL. I can almost hear the Doogie Howser music playing in my head. I’m fighting the urge to hit delete for fear that my man card will get taken away and I know I’ll get made fun of by my boys who read this blog so lets just go ahead and throw that out there.

On the other hand, everything I’m saying and feeling is real. I’m being absolutely true to myself and I think its important for my kid to know how I felt at this moment during some intermittent moment in the future. Also, I want to relay these thoughts completely if I’m truly going to be transparent about my experience as a man during this pregnancy. Those of you who haven’t gone through this will truly not know the joys of it until you’re there yourself. Then you’ll know.

Lastly, I just want to share… Megan is actually on the other couch next to me quietly watching this retarded chick flick on TV. She’s doing her own thing and I’m doing mine writing. She doesn’t even know what I’m thinking about/working on but I think she looks so adorable just sitting there. I keep stealing glances. Ha! I guess I don’t mind being home at all. Nowhere else I’d rather be. 🙂

Mike

P.S. – I felt the baby moving in her belly for the first time ever this week!

Becoming a Dad – Running to Make It

June 16, 2009

246529929_4c0f1a3c45

I got my first taste of rushing to delivery yesterday. Now granted, we are only 16 weeks in so it wasn’t “the real deal” but it was enough to fool the poor nurse in the random hospital parking lot! Guess I have to explain this one…

Without going into too much detail, Mom-to-be had been experiencing some slightly discomforting pregnancy pains over this last weekend. It was nothing too highly unusual but something to be paid attention to. Realizing this, we emailed Doctor Ramos and asked him his opinion. He wanted us to make an appointment for the same day so we did.

Now being as I work downtown and Megan works in the southwest side of town, we had quite the challenge on our hands because we’re still sharing one vehicle. (see part 2) Megan said I didn’t have to go but I’d never forgive myself if bad news came so I was determined to figure the logistics out. Then it came to me. I needed to take the Houston Metro train!

The office at Houston Center is but a brisk 3-block walk away from Main Street metro rail. I thought, I’ve had to take this train before (Houston Rodeo, etc.) so I really expected nothing worse than sitting next to some dubiously-stinky people or having to stand up the whole way. But whoa, I was totally wrong.

After boarding, the train passed through downtown, midtown, and Rice University with no issues until it stopped abruptly in the Med Center area. It was there that the conductor announced over the loudspeaker that there had been an accident ahead and the train was turning around to go back downtown. At this point, I’m just short of a full-scale panic given that our appointment time at the OB was no less than 20 minutes away. So what’s a guy to do?

Well, in this situation, the decision was simple. Despite the satin shirt, the already-uncomfortable dress shoes, and the ten-pound laptop bag slung across my shoulder, I ran. Yep. You heard correctly. I ran probably just short of two miles in sweltering 95 degree Texas heat, cutting across parking lots and hospital upon hospital until I got to where Megan was. Like I said in the beginning, I even managed to freak out a nurse in one of the parking garages along the way. Asking her for directions in all my sweaty, frantic, out-of-breath glory (I don’t even run that much at the gym with workout clothes and sneakers on), she got the impression that my wife was in labor so she started panicking as well! Fear not though, after a little clarification I got directions on how to cut through where and made it just a few minutes short of actually seeing the doctor. Found out the baby is okay and I even got my brownie points from mom-to-be to boot!

Baby, if you’re listening, Daddy says you better be worth it! 😛

Becoming a Dad – Sympathy Emotions

June 8, 2009
ist2_4448466-cute-baby-boy-in-rainbow-outfit-sitting
It’s the fourth installment of my Becoming a Dad series and we’re now entering our 15th week en route to the baby’s due date. As far as the pregnancy goes, I’m happy to report that everything is going smoothly and mother-to-be’s belly bump is becoming a little more prominent. She still has some issue with ‘feeling fat’ and that sort of thing but I think she’s the most adorable pregnant woman in the world. That exact thought came to my mind as I saw her for the first time yesterday since she spent the weekend visiting her family. I thought she looked SO beautiful appearing in her long colorful skirt and shirt that showed off her little bump. Just sometimes I wish she could see herself through my eyes….
Anyways, as far as where I am in this whole impending fatherhood thing, well what I’m going through must be the exact opposite of what the woman is supposed to be feeling right around this time. For the mother-to-be, its supposed to be a time where the nauseating pregnancy symptoms go away a little and she can enjoy her pregnancy a little more. For me, its like my own pregnancy symptoms just showed up like an uninvited house guest without warning! Like… why have I been worrying and cleaning all weekend? And why am I more emotional than usual? I mean it’s all good but if my nipples start getting sensitive or my butt gets any bigger and I’m fighting somebody!
PS – The discussion continues but we’ve narrowed down some baby names already. Also, we’ve been talking about potential godparents and that decision is going to be a challenge indeed. Besides that, everyone still thinks the baby going to be a girl except for the loyal Filipino Titos. (Go Team Philippines!)  We find out the sex in July…