Posted tagged ‘Fatherhood’

Becoming a Dad – Coming Home

June 26, 2009

baby

Currently Week 18.

So it’s Friday night a little past 10pm in Houston and I’m already home. Earlier this evening after I had cooked her dinner, mother-to-be was actually urging me to go out with the guys. Although she certainly demands a good deal of attention, I’m also told that I need time with the boys and that she really only cares about me being home early on weekdays. Now I definitely appreciate that. I agree that a little balance is healthy for both me and her. So tonight I went to Loggia in Sugar Land with my brother and a few of the boys. It’s always nice catching up with them and being a guy doing what guys do. (drink beer, talk sports, etc.) On top of that, my friends can be real goofs so its usually hilarious when we sit around no matter where we are, much less in a bar environment with lots of ammo for discussion. Good times indeed.

“Stay out as long as you want,” she says. I had every intention of having a drunken good time tonight like the old days…. or five months ago, depending on how you look at it. But after a few hours, what I came to realize though was that I wanted to be home. I couldn’t quite explain it to myself but I felt the urge to just break off and take it to the house. It’s like that more and more every passing day. I’m feeling so madly in love with everything that is coming in my life to be. And I’m excited to make it all happen starting now. I’ve even let go of a lot of what I would call “crutches” lately.

The baby books say that sometimes it takes awhile to fully realize what having a baby truly means and how it will impact your life. In my case, I’ve embraces this thing since day one but around a month ago it became very real to me, mentally. I think it was that way for both of us. Early on, your mind gets so caught up in the impending responsibility, sacrifice, and life change that you don’t really get a chance to truly reflect and just, well, breathe, until it fully sinks in. I guess for me that time is now.

So what are my thoughts during this moment of reflection?

Well, for one, I feel corny as hell writing this. LOL. I can almost hear the Doogie Howser music playing in my head. I’m fighting the urge to hit delete for fear that my man card will get taken away and I know I’ll get made fun of by my boys who read this blog so lets just go ahead and throw that out there.

On the other hand, everything I’m saying and feeling is real. I’m being absolutely true to myself and I think its important for my kid to know how I felt at this moment during some intermittent moment in the future. Also, I want to relay these thoughts completely if I’m truly going to be transparent about my experience as a man during this pregnancy. Those of you who haven’t gone through this will truly not know the joys of it until you’re there yourself. Then you’ll know.

Lastly, I just want to share… Megan is actually on the other couch next to me quietly watching this retarded chick flick on TV. She’s doing her own thing and I’m doing mine writing. She doesn’t even know what I’m thinking about/working on but I think she looks so adorable just sitting there. I keep stealing glances. Ha! I guess I don’t mind being home at all. Nowhere else I’d rather be. 🙂

Mike

P.S. – I felt the baby moving in her belly for the first time ever this week!

Becoming a Dad – Running to Make It

June 16, 2009

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I got my first taste of rushing to delivery yesterday. Now granted, we are only 16 weeks in so it wasn’t “the real deal” but it was enough to fool the poor nurse in the random hospital parking lot! Guess I have to explain this one…

Without going into too much detail, Mom-to-be had been experiencing some slightly discomforting pregnancy pains over this last weekend. It was nothing too highly unusual but something to be paid attention to. Realizing this, we emailed Doctor Ramos and asked him his opinion. He wanted us to make an appointment for the same day so we did.

Now being as I work downtown and Megan works in the southwest side of town, we had quite the challenge on our hands because we’re still sharing one vehicle. (see part 2) Megan said I didn’t have to go but I’d never forgive myself if bad news came so I was determined to figure the logistics out. Then it came to me. I needed to take the Houston Metro train!

The office at Houston Center is but a brisk 3-block walk away from Main Street metro rail. I thought, I’ve had to take this train before (Houston Rodeo, etc.) so I really expected nothing worse than sitting next to some dubiously-stinky people or having to stand up the whole way. But whoa, I was totally wrong.

After boarding, the train passed through downtown, midtown, and Rice University with no issues until it stopped abruptly in the Med Center area. It was there that the conductor announced over the loudspeaker that there had been an accident ahead and the train was turning around to go back downtown. At this point, I’m just short of a full-scale panic given that our appointment time at the OB was no less than 20 minutes away. So what’s a guy to do?

Well, in this situation, the decision was simple. Despite the satin shirt, the already-uncomfortable dress shoes, and the ten-pound laptop bag slung across my shoulder, I ran. Yep. You heard correctly. I ran probably just short of two miles in sweltering 95 degree Texas heat, cutting across parking lots and hospital upon hospital until I got to where Megan was. Like I said in the beginning, I even managed to freak out a nurse in one of the parking garages along the way. Asking her for directions in all my sweaty, frantic, out-of-breath glory (I don’t even run that much at the gym with workout clothes and sneakers on), she got the impression that my wife was in labor so she started panicking as well! Fear not though, after a little clarification I got directions on how to cut through where and made it just a few minutes short of actually seeing the doctor. Found out the baby is okay and I even got my brownie points from mom-to-be to boot!

Baby, if you’re listening, Daddy says you better be worth it! 😛

Becoming a Dad – Sympathy Emotions

June 8, 2009
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It’s the fourth installment of my Becoming a Dad series and we’re now entering our 15th week en route to the baby’s due date. As far as the pregnancy goes, I’m happy to report that everything is going smoothly and mother-to-be’s belly bump is becoming a little more prominent. She still has some issue with ‘feeling fat’ and that sort of thing but I think she’s the most adorable pregnant woman in the world. That exact thought came to my mind as I saw her for the first time yesterday since she spent the weekend visiting her family. I thought she looked SO beautiful appearing in her long colorful skirt and shirt that showed off her little bump. Just sometimes I wish she could see herself through my eyes….
Anyways, as far as where I am in this whole impending fatherhood thing, well what I’m going through must be the exact opposite of what the woman is supposed to be feeling right around this time. For the mother-to-be, its supposed to be a time where the nauseating pregnancy symptoms go away a little and she can enjoy her pregnancy a little more. For me, its like my own pregnancy symptoms just showed up like an uninvited house guest without warning! Like… why have I been worrying and cleaning all weekend? And why am I more emotional than usual? I mean it’s all good but if my nipples start getting sensitive or my butt gets any bigger and I’m fighting somebody!
PS – The discussion continues but we’ve narrowed down some baby names already. Also, we’ve been talking about potential godparents and that decision is going to be a challenge indeed. Besides that, everyone still thinks the baby going to be a girl except for the loyal Filipino Titos. (Go Team Philippines!)  We find out the sex in July…

Becoming a Dad – The First Ultrasound

May 27, 2009
13 weeks and 1 day passed. 26 weekss and 6 days left.

13 weeks and 1 day passed. 26 weekss and 6 days left.

Yesterday we hit 13 weeks! It was also our second OB Visit with Dr. Ramos and we got to hear the baby’s heartbeat for the first time! The little’s ones heart is definitely going strong at 160 beats per minute, which they say is very good! An old wives’ tale says that the faster the baby’s heartbeat is, the more likely it is to be a girl. Truthfully, I’d be happy with whatever sex our child ends up being. Yet still there is a part of me that is dreadfully scared of having a daughter.

I’m not sure how other men in my situation feel but I’ve got plenty of questions swirling in my mind. How will I raise a girl? What is the difference in how I treat her versus how I would treat a boy? After all, I have a little better knowledge on that since I grew up a guy my whole life. Will I worry too much all the time for my daughter? I can’t even fathom how I’d react when she starts dating… And will I be wrapped around her little finger like everyone says I will be? All these thoughts have been racing through my head but I’m proud to say I’ve managed to avoid the obligatory panic attack… so far.

Guess the suspense will continue until we find out the sex on our July 7th visit. Until then, I’m happy to report that mom and baby continue to be healthy and the nest is finally a little more settled after the move. As for me, everything is still my fault but I’m charging ahead. Ha.

Becoming a Dad – A Surprise Beginning

May 4, 2009

Pretext

I originally thought about not writing about my journey to fatherhood on the basis that its definitely a unique personal experience for every man that goes through it. This definitely holds true but something beautiful happened today that made me change my entire outlook on sharing it with everyone. We went to the doctor for the first time and got to see the baby healthy and moving around! Pretty much the happiest moment of my life so far!

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Part One: Discovery & Realization

It has been about two months since I found out for the first time that I’m going to be a dad. At first I was surprised, nervous, scared, confused, happy… Pretty much all the feelings you would expect a first-timer to feel when confronted with this reality. After all, I’ve never been a parent before and didn’t know where to begin en route to the due date, much less how to change a stinky diaper when my baby finally arrives. Two months later and some anxiety is still there, as is a little (a lot of) impatience, but not nearly as much as in the very beginning. Now everything I do and worry about is less  of “how are we going to do this” and more of wanting to create the best possible life for my child and figuring out the best way to do it.

There are a lot of challenges to deal with in the journey to fatherhood. I looked all over the web to find resources for preparation and learned plenty about what to do including: what prenatal vitamins mom should take, what to do for nausea, and what to do and  not to do during pregnancy.  I found plenty of info on all that but what I didn’t find were too many resources for the expecting father. Believe it or not, there are plenty of challenges one faces on that side of the journey as well. From finding the best place to live to figuring out budgets, knowing you’ll be a dad soon comes with many responsibilities, some unexpected and challenging.

Dealing with mommy’s hormones can be tricky as well. She’s a sweetheart most of the time but oh beware those hormones, they loom like an ominous raincloud. Just this weekend mom-to-be and I were arguing about something that I never in my wildest dreams thought I would ever argue with anyone about, electro-magnetic waves. I’ll spare you the technical details but basically, I never considered that something could be dangerous to our child and it very well could be.  Maybe .000001 of a chance but that’s still enough reason for us to want to be careful.

My point is that as a father-to-be, different things begin to matter and issues that were previously irrelevant begin to take shape. For us, I think we’re on track. We’re moving to our nice new townhouse in two weeks and we’ve got one heck of a relaxing vacation this weekend with a great group of our closest friends. (go DNC ninjas and slippers!) It’s fitting that it’s on Mother’s Day Weekend also.

Moving forward, we’ll continue to prepare the nest. I’ve also got to work on stuff like eating healthier, shopping smarter, and saving for future events like my kid’s college. (medical school?) I also need to learn how not to worry all the time about every little thing that comes along. In any case, impending fatherhood certainly is a great catalyst to get things going on a better track.

So where are we at now? Well for starters, today was our first doctor’s visit and I was very nervous about it. I hardly even talked on the way to the medical center, focusing instead on the point in my mind where I knew everything would be okay.  It went that way until we finally got to the ultrasound two hours later. When we finally got to see our child moving strong and looking healthy in mommy’s belly, I couldn’t tell you of any other moment in my life where I’m never felt so happy and relieved. I think we can have some fun with this whole experience and I’m looking forward to sharing the journey.

That’s it for now. More on becoming a dad as it happens. 🙂

Currently: 10 Weeks (our entire calendar on justmommies.com)

First ultrasound at 10 weeks with Dr. Ramos. Our little one has a strong heartbeat and is already drilling hip escapes by moving around in there. Grow strong little one! Mom & Dad love you!

First ultrasound at 10 weeks with Dr. Ramos. Our little one has a strong heartbeat, moves around, and is already drilling hip escapes! Grow strong little one! Mom & Dad love you!