Posted tagged ‘car accident’

Becoming a Dad – Bedtime Habits

August 5, 2009

Currently at 23 weeks. 17 weeks to go.

Before you read on, listen. I feel like I owe you a warning. This post is going to be intimate. Not in the way that you might imagine (shame on you), but rather in a very personal sense in terms of habits as a couple. So if you’re not in the mood for that sort of thing right now, that’s okay. There are plenty of other pregnancy & childhood blogs worth reading.

candles

If you’re still reading this, good. I’d like to tell you a quick bedtime story about mom-to-be and I. Just a small example of one of our habits as a couple. And if you’re in a relationship of your own, I know you’ll understand. After all, every couple has their quirks. This is one of ours.

My other half has developed a little bedtime routine for us. You might be wondering what I mean so I’ll give you the quick preface on our habits before I get to what I’m talking about.

1. I usually go to bed much later than her.
2. We both take our showers, brush our teeth, you know… all the normal stuff a little after dinner.
3. We both watch a little television or read before bed.

That’s where our similarities end. We’re completely different in terms of sleep schedules. To put it accurately, I like to stay up 2-3 hours later than she does. Always have.

Now here’s the nightly ritual I was talking about. Ever since just about month four, mom-to-be insists on me going to bed with her. Not to sleep necessarily but for me to ‘put her to bed.’ What this entails for me is crawling into bed after she’s done reading and soothing her to sleep. I run my fingers lightly down her back… the back of her neck… You know, that half massage, half petting thing. Sometimes I even entertain myself my drawing imaginary pictures or writing stories in invisible letters on her skin. I even made the mistake of telling her the other night that I write stuff like “I love you” on her back when I’m bored. Geez, now she’s trying to figure out what I’m writing every night. LOL. This is what I was talking about earlier when I said this post was going to be intimate. But it’s all quite sensual really, I guess. I know it seems silly but it really soothes mom-to-be. Thus, I don’t mind the sacrifice of my precious me-time so much.

The scary thing is that she’s gotten quite used to this routine. Whether by choice or not, my fear is that this routine isn’t going to go away. What the heck am I gonna do? And when the heck am I going to find the time to play my precious video games again? Sneaking out of bed after she falls asleep is getting to be such a chore. I guess I’ll have to gradually tone down the spoiling her bit and hope she gets weened off this habit of drifting off to sleep from touch. Or maybe I can develop more ninja ways of sneaking off for the next 60 years. I’m gonna figure this thing out somehow. Sigh.

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Becoming a Dad – Accidents and Emergencies

July 29, 2009

honda-accordianThe #1 leading cause of complication for pregnancy is trauma.

As you can see by the picture of my car on the right, this fact never became more scary than the early morning hours of this past Tuesday, when mom-to-be was involved in a traffic accident. Before you read further, I’ll spare you the suspense. Mom and baby are fine.

Now here’s the short version of the story.

When Megan went to drop me off at the park-and-ride, I had no reason to believe that morning would be unlike any other. After all, ever since her car got flooded, this had been our routine. She’d drop me off to take the bus downtown for work while she took my car to her own job for the day. No complications. But this time, it was different, drastically different.

I got the phone call right before the bus was about to pull away. Megan was on the phone crying hysterically. Through her sobs, she managed to tell me to get off the bus. Something about an accident but the details were unsaid or unclear. I can’t remember that part. All I can remember is pushing other commuters out of the way and running. Like my life depended on it, and it did. Megan had managed to pull into the next parking lot, or as I found out later, the impact from the collision had spun the car into the lot as the airbag deployed, probably saving our baby’s life.

I ran immediately past my deformed car to my Megan, thinking and saying nothing but, “Are you alright? Are you hurt? Are you okay?” The rest of the accident scene is inconsequential. I called 9-1-1. Spoke to police. Hurried off shady tow truck drivers. I just wanted to get her to the hospital as quickly as possible. But how?

My brother is such an awesome guy. Always there when I need him. That goes for my entire family. Always there when you need them. Kris came and got us, since we obviously didn’t have a car. He took us all the way to the medical center. From there, it was five hours of waiting, tests, sonograms. The whole nine yards. I have to admit I was just as worried then as I was running off the bus the whole entire time. Pins and needles. It’s like your life flashes before your eyes. What would I ever do without her? What would I do if anything happened to our baby? This is my entire life we’re talking about here. Nothing else matters.

Those thoughts were so real what Dr. Ramos prepared us as doctors do after we told him about the accident. “Trauma is the #1 cause of complication in pregnancy.” My heart dropped. “You’ll need to take the following tests.” I know Megan’s did too. It’s really hard to be strong in crisis. And the wait was excruciating. I sent tweets about how everything was going to be okay for as much self-assurance as anything else. Finally, after my sister came, the three of us got to see the ultrasound and saw the baby moving around. The doctors said everything should be fine. Thank heavens for that reassurance. This whole experience was the scariest thing I’ve ever been through. And I’ve been though some scary stuff in my brief little existence.

floodedcarWe’ve got through quite a bit  together, Megan and I. One car totaled from a flood and another one that will probably be totaled tomorrow. This last one was just another occurrence in a series of life’s tests that make our relationship and will stronger. Yes, all this most definitely sucks. Every last bit of it. I don’t think we deserve any of it but no use thinking like a victim. Whatever, you know? C’est la vies. Just another proverbial ass to kick. And you know what? The one thing I’ve realized – I could be penniless and broke living in a steamy hot jungle somewhere. As long as I have Megan and our son, I can get through anything. So my advice to all of you readers – hug your husbands, wives, fathers, mothers, and kids tonight. Appreciate every moment you have with them. Love them. After all, in the end, they’re the ones that matter. Everything else is just life getting in your way.

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