Archive for the ‘Fatherhood’ category

Becoming a Dad – The First Ultrasound

May 27, 2009
13 weeks and 1 day passed. 26 weekss and 6 days left.

13 weeks and 1 day passed. 26 weekss and 6 days left.

Yesterday we hit 13 weeks! It was also our second OB Visit with Dr. Ramos and we got to hear the baby’s heartbeat for the first time! The little’s ones heart is definitely going strong at 160 beats per minute, which they say is very good! An old wives’ tale says that the faster the baby’s heartbeat is, the more likely it is to be a girl. Truthfully, I’d be happy with whatever sex our child ends up being. Yet still there is a part of me that is dreadfully scared of having a daughter.

I’m not sure how other men in my situation feel but I’ve got plenty of questions swirling in my mind. How will I raise a girl? What is the difference in how I treat her versus how I would treat a boy? After all, I have a little better knowledge on that since I grew up a guy my whole life. Will I worry too much all the time for my daughter? I can’t even fathom how I’d react when she starts dating… And will I be wrapped around her little finger like everyone says I will be? All these thoughts have been racing through my head but I’m proud to say I’ve managed to avoid the obligatory panic attack… so far.

Guess the suspense will continue until we find out the sex on our July 7th visit. Until then, I’m happy to report that mom and baby continue to be healthy and the nest is finally a little more settled after the move. As for me, everything is still my fault but I’m charging ahead. Ha.

Becoming a Dad – Ninja Dagger Hormones

May 18, 2009

11 weeks and 6 days complete.

28 weeks and 1 day left.

filipinomix

Becoming a Dad – Part One

Tomorrow marks the 12th week of mommy-to-be’s pregnancy which I believe is the beginning of the 2nd trimester!

I’m excited because everything I’ve read so far has told me that the second trimester will be a little easier on us that the first. Now I don’t know if it’s true that the nausea goes away or any of the other pregnancy pains will leave but I sure hope so if it’ll make things easier. I’m also looking forward to a little bit of calming down as far as external stresses go. From settling into the pregnancy to going through a flood disaster that claimed her car, we’ve gone through some tests in the past few months. And did I mention we spent all of this past weekend hard at work moving into our townhome? All this activity and adversity has done nothing to lessen our stress levels in the least!

Speaking of which, I’ve noticed in the past two months we’ve argued more than we ever did. Despite trying really hard, sometimes I just feel like I can’t get anything right. I asked other couples that have gone through the first-time experience about this and everyone says  this feeling is normal. Well what the heck is normal? “Pregnancy hormones” they said.  So there, I had something to blame and blame I have. BUT after the same issues kept coming up I realized that I better stop being stubborn and start paying attention and listening to the content of the messages and not just how they are thrown at me like ninja daggers from Shinobi. We still go through this but I think I’m growing as a person and she’s making an effort to be less assassin-like with her words. Ha! It’s not THAT bad but I am making a point here.

Now that we’re entering the second trimester, my main concern is less about hormones and my  personal needs, still about taking care of business, and more about making the future-wife happy. After all, happy mommy makes for happy baby right? And happy mommy and happy baby will make for a happy daddy! I’m sure that’s all I’ll need. Now if I could only get through these damn sympathy pains…. Aww geez, why do I have to be the super-sensitive one?!?!

Becoming a Dad – A Surprise Beginning

May 4, 2009

Pretext

I originally thought about not writing about my journey to fatherhood on the basis that its definitely a unique personal experience for every man that goes through it. This definitely holds true but something beautiful happened today that made me change my entire outlook on sharing it with everyone. We went to the doctor for the first time and got to see the baby healthy and moving around! Pretty much the happiest moment of my life so far!

filipinobaby

Part One: Discovery & Realization

It has been about two months since I found out for the first time that I’m going to be a dad. At first I was surprised, nervous, scared, confused, happy… Pretty much all the feelings you would expect a first-timer to feel when confronted with this reality. After all, I’ve never been a parent before and didn’t know where to begin en route to the due date, much less how to change a stinky diaper when my baby finally arrives. Two months later and some anxiety is still there, as is a little (a lot of) impatience, but not nearly as much as in the very beginning. Now everything I do and worry about is less  of “how are we going to do this” and more of wanting to create the best possible life for my child and figuring out the best way to do it.

There are a lot of challenges to deal with in the journey to fatherhood. I looked all over the web to find resources for preparation and learned plenty about what to do including: what prenatal vitamins mom should take, what to do for nausea, and what to do and  not to do during pregnancy.  I found plenty of info on all that but what I didn’t find were too many resources for the expecting father. Believe it or not, there are plenty of challenges one faces on that side of the journey as well. From finding the best place to live to figuring out budgets, knowing you’ll be a dad soon comes with many responsibilities, some unexpected and challenging.

Dealing with mommy’s hormones can be tricky as well. She’s a sweetheart most of the time but oh beware those hormones, they loom like an ominous raincloud. Just this weekend mom-to-be and I were arguing about something that I never in my wildest dreams thought I would ever argue with anyone about, electro-magnetic waves. I’ll spare you the technical details but basically, I never considered that something could be dangerous to our child and it very well could be.  Maybe .000001 of a chance but that’s still enough reason for us to want to be careful.

My point is that as a father-to-be, different things begin to matter and issues that were previously irrelevant begin to take shape. For us, I think we’re on track. We’re moving to our nice new townhouse in two weeks and we’ve got one heck of a relaxing vacation this weekend with a great group of our closest friends. (go DNC ninjas and slippers!) It’s fitting that it’s on Mother’s Day Weekend also.

Moving forward, we’ll continue to prepare the nest. I’ve also got to work on stuff like eating healthier, shopping smarter, and saving for future events like my kid’s college. (medical school?) I also need to learn how not to worry all the time about every little thing that comes along. In any case, impending fatherhood certainly is a great catalyst to get things going on a better track.

So where are we at now? Well for starters, today was our first doctor’s visit and I was very nervous about it. I hardly even talked on the way to the medical center, focusing instead on the point in my mind where I knew everything would be okay.  It went that way until we finally got to the ultrasound two hours later. When we finally got to see our child moving strong and looking healthy in mommy’s belly, I couldn’t tell you of any other moment in my life where I’m never felt so happy and relieved. I think we can have some fun with this whole experience and I’m looking forward to sharing the journey.

That’s it for now. More on becoming a dad as it happens. 🙂

Currently: 10 Weeks (our entire calendar on justmommies.com)

First ultrasound at 10 weeks with Dr. Ramos. Our little one has a strong heartbeat and is already drilling hip escapes by moving around in there. Grow strong little one! Mom & Dad love you!

First ultrasound at 10 weeks with Dr. Ramos. Our little one has a strong heartbeat, moves around, and is already drilling hip escapes! Grow strong little one! Mom & Dad love you!