Becoming a Dad – Third Trimester Here We Come!
There are only 92 days left until our boy’s due date and we are racing fast and furiously to get ready.
Mom-to-be and I arrive for the last three months of pregnancy battle-tested and intact after having gone through some interesting experiences the past six months including: a) moving to our place after having roommates b) her car being totaled due to flooding c) mom-to-be being in a car accident… d) …which totaled dad-to-be’s car e) unexpected medical bills f) etc. etc.
I think all those challenges were put in front of us to help us get ready for what’s coming. I really think that all those hardships helped us toughen up from being kids ourselves to grow into our roles as parents-to-be.
In the last six months we’ve made progress to to get ready for our boy’s arrival.
To begin with, we’ve began the nesting phase! The rocking chair and changing table are all set up and ready to go. The crib is not far behind after I got it in the door this past weekend. Now we just have to worry about registering at Target and Babies-R-Us for the whole baby shower thing and it should take care of itself for awhile.
Lately it has been all about cars for us also. We managed to survive with only one vehicle for the majority of this pregnancy and survived the last month without one at all after the wreck! Now, after shopping and negotiating with car dealers (Not fun), we finally got two in the garage as of this past weekend. And they are a mid-sized sedan and an SUV just like we wanted in the first place! Special Thanks from Meg and I to my mom & dad for loaning us one of theirs in the interim. We would have never managed otherwise so bless our luck for having such awesome parents.
Most importantly for us as an impending family, we’ve finally got budgets have been put together and (most) unnecessary spending has been curbed. For example, I used to order food twice every day not thinking it was a big deal. Now I realize that’s about $400 a month for nothing but calories and a growing belly. So now, this daddy eats breakfast at home and packs a lunch for work or he doesn’t eat at all. Same with mom-to-be on being smart with food costs. We figured out that once we got used to it, our lifestyle didn’t really change very much minus wasted money and bad-for-you calories. It’s going that way for a lot of things. Tracking where the money is going… Such a novel concept that I could never understand as a bachelor.
All in all, I think we’re going to be as prepared as can be. Of course I think we can do more to get ready every single day, but that’s just me being neurotic and paranoid. I feel my baby kick at night and just want us to make the best world for him. Megan says I fall asleep with my hard on her belly and start snoring, only to pause and giggle like a kid myself every time the baby kicks hard. I just love him so much already and I know his momma does too so we’re trying to do the best we can.
Some Questions I Have for you parents out there…
Banking the Umbilical Cord – This costs lots of money. I’ve read the pros and cons. Now I want to hear from some actual parents… Is this worth the cost?- Daycare Search – I need some advice in terms of how to search for the best daycare possible, like – What should we be watching out for? What questions do we need to ask? And what should we avoid?
- Birthing Classes – I don’t think we’ll do this. They cost so much money and I heard the epidural is the only thing Megan will need. Does anyone has any reasons to go to these classes besides the ‘experience’ factor?
- Packing the Hospital Bag – When should we make sure we have a bag packed for the hospital? And what should go in it?
- Everything Else – What should I be worried about in the third trimester? Any words of wisdom or warnings welcome.
For the rest of the ‘Becoming a Dad’ Series – click here.
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Tags: babies, birthing, childbirth, dad, daycare, hospital, nesting, pregnancy, umbilical cord
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DNC Worldwide 
September 3, 2009 at 8:41 am
1. Banking the umbilical cord…we didn’t do it.
2. Daycare search…we looked at several places, but didn’t find anything we were comfortable with. My work schedule allows me to spend time during the morning and early afternoon with the kids, then my wife comes home and takes over while I go to work. Don’t be in a big hurry to use daycare. It can be really stressful for the parents at such a young age. Use as much vacation, comp, FMLA time as you can. Once you’ve used that, if you both have to go back to work, I would see if relatives you trust can babysit.
3. Birthing classes…not really useful other than the breathing stuff. The l&d nurse will help you with that once she’s actually in labor, but understanding the difference between fast and slow breathing in a non-stressful environment can be helpful.
4. Packing the hospital bag…Clothes, toiletries, comfy shoes for you and her. They won’t let you take much into the labor and delivery room; maybe relaxing cd’s and a small cd player and flip flops or sandals for her. We took a yoga ball, and that sometimes feels good for her to sit on. Also, lotion for a foot massage (her feet, not yours LOL). You aren’t going to need diapers or wipes for the newborn. They provide all that stuff. The big thing; COMFY SHOES!!
5. Everything else…ya’ll are in charge of the process, so if you have any concerns with the nurse or are uncomfortable about something, you absolutely can speak up. She’s not going to be able to drink anything, only suck on ice chips. At some point early on, the nurse is going to suggest that you go down the hall to get some ice chips for her. When you go down the hall, the nurse is going to ask her if you beat her or if she has any STD’s that you don’t know about. Don’t get offended. They are required to ask you that. Above all, just try to relax and enjoy the whole experience. Don’t forget your camera.
September 3, 2009 at 8:53 am
Hey Thanks so much Gavin! Really helpful advice and we appreciate it. 🙂
September 3, 2009 at 9:24 am
Also…Donna and I took a baby first aid/CPR class before our oldest was born. The American Red Cross offers those classes. Depending on what hospital ya’ll are having the baby at, they may offer it as well (for a charge, of course)…Installing a car seat is NOT as easy as it seems. Memorial Children’s Hospital actually has a class that shows you how to install car seats. There is no charge for that…There’s actually an agency you have to go through that will set you up with that. I’ll try to find it and give you the information at class.
Make sure you have a GOOD pediatrician. Our first one was a MORON. I almost knocked him out at our first visit when he cut off my daughter’s umbilical cord without telling us first. If ya’ll haven’t decided on a pediatrician yet, I can give you a recommendation: any of the pediatricians at Bootin and Savrick. They’re in the medical center area. Our doctor is Patti Savrick, but ALL of the doctors in that practice are REALLY good. They have late hours and hours on Saturday also.
As for Meg, ya’ll need to think about what kind of pain relief she’s going to want in the hospital. My wife has a HIGH pain tolerance. With our daughter, all she had was an IV drip with a mild pain reliever. It just took the edge off. With our son, she had nothing at all…Epidural has some risks, and once she gets the epidural, she is confined to the bed. If she wants mobility, don’t get the epidural. Being able to walk around can be really helpful. Also, if you have a yoga ball, bring that with you. It relieves alot of the pressure. Big thing: COMFY SHOES (slippers, flip flops). She’s not going to get alot of sleep in the hospital. Both she and the baby will have a nurse. Between checking her vitals, and feedings, she will probably get less than 8 hours of sleep during the entire two or three day hospital stay. LIMIT VISITORS!!! Sleep while you can.
September 3, 2009 at 10:16 pm
Thanks so much for the advice Gavin, lots to think about!
September 4, 2009 at 8:27 am
…okay, just one more thing. Enjoy the experience. Sorry if my other posts were LONG, but there is a lot of stuff that Donna and I would have like to have known before our first child. Get some sleep while you can!
September 4, 2009 at 9:48 am
Banking the Umbilical Cord: We didn’t do it.. You can actually donate the umbilical cord blood, which we did do.
Daycare Search: Don’t be turned off from daycares.. I used a nanny for awhile, but very stressful finding a good one, so gave up and found Kids R Kids.. Ricky started there about 4-5 months old… I was petrified to use daycare, but he is thriving there and is so social.. kids need to learn how to socialize and share with other kids… start looking now! Some of the good ones you might have to go on waiting list.. don’t wait until last minute! Kids R Kids has online cameras so you can actually log online and check in on your baby anytime.
Birthing Classes: You dont really need one.. I will actually just give you guys the workbook they gave us last year for our class.. A first aid/cpr class is a good idea.. we havent taken one yet.
We did take our car seat to get professionally installed and to show us how to do it.. its free and was at the woman’s Hospital of Texas off Fannin.. took 30 minutes maybe.. I will find the number for you guys!
Packing the Hospital Bag:
You don’t need a lot b/c the hospital will provide most.. slippers, a robe for her, change of clothes for when you are discharged, DVD’s, toiletries, stuff to keep dad occupied while momma rests, camera/ camcorder, baby book (to get footprints stamped in)
Third Trimester:
Megan will be getting bigger, and more uncomfortable towards end of trimester, so help out with as much as she needs you too.. cleaning the house, cooking, running errands, etc.. she needs her rest now more then ever and it gets harder and harder to sleep the bigger you get! Give her massages and rub her feet.. just be there for her like you have been!!
September 8, 2009 at 4:52 am
Great blog – I have told my husband about your blog so he can read it as well
October 6, 2009 at 4:05 pm
I am a first time mother. My son is now 8 months old and he is the joy of my life. I feel like there aren’t enough hours in the day to find time to spend with him. My husband and I both work at Narconon drug rehab and he goes to a nanny five days a week. We are at work more than we are with him. How do first time mothers get to where they feel like they are spending enough time with their baby? I feel like he is going to know the nanny better than his own mother. Is this how it is supposed to be?