The Official Birth of the DNC

Thank God it’s Sunday. I’m sure everyone that was involved in the debauchery last night felt the need to go to church this afternoon. If you weren’t present, I can honestly say that you don’t have an inkling of how insane of an evening Jino and Jess’s birthday celebration turned out to be.






First of all, starting at five in the afternoon is a tad bit early even for the most professional of drinkers. Add into that the fact that we had an almost full bar, Spencer bartending, and a never-ending flow of bull blasters and tequila shots and what you got was the perfect stage set for an insanely sinful cesspool of an evening. Shopping with Alaina and Spencer earlier in the day, I did not realize that was about the closest to calm before the storm as I would get for the rest of the evening.


After an hour of pre, pre-drinking, our close-knit group and dates went to Patu for a nice Thai dinner. The quaint little restaurant was so quiet prior to our arrival… Needless to say, I’m a little unsure if we are welcome back.





An hour and three blocks later, we were back at Jino’s for the alcohol feeding. This is when things start to get interesting. After about the 10th tequila shot, Vincent gets angry and eventually, tries to drive away after calling women by other women’s names. Cue Hyper, who rips the keys from the truck and takes Vince out with his kung-fu-grip and judo throw. Right around this time, Ashleigh and Lindsey arrive to join in on the pre-drinking. Next thing you know, all the hard liquor and shotguns turn the group into a 25 person raging ball of drunkenness that would explode out into the night.




Gatsby was awesome. Jenica wouldn’t know because she instantly fell asleep on a patio chair as soon as we got there. Everyone else had an awesome time though. Hyper invited the miler lite Latin spokes model team, Marsha Marsha Marsha showed off her sizeable boobies, and everyone kissed everyone else in sequence… Hence the cesspool comment I made earlier. By the end of the night and the likely thousands of dollars spent on the bar, and we finally make it out of there. Special thanks to Shea for making sure we were secure and comping us 20 shots.  We love you man.





I don’t even want to go into what type of sin was explored into at Jino’s after the club. All I can say is that “what happens at pinoy’s, stays at pinoy’s. Jino, I hope you didn’t sleep in the wet spot I left in your domicile. J/K. 😉





Bonus

I would like to announce the winner of the game “Fucking Hammered”: VINCENT WON!!!

You ask how the fuck did he do that? Well here it is:

1) mix 10 shots of tequilla to after telling your girlfriend that you’re not going to drink!

2) get ass kicked by three different friends at three different times.

3) try to drive off drunk and get car keys lost.

4) wake up in an 80 year old man’s house that you don’t know with no shirt and no ID and then ask “Are you Spencer’s father?” The old man made him go outside and get his newspaper before slamming the door in his face. WTF?!?!

That my friends is how to win the game, so we commend you Vincent for playing to win and setting a new standard in “Fucking Hammered.” Until next time, Thanks for playing.

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