Wait or Circle? – How to Find a Parking Spot

Hypothetical Situation: You are in a huge hurry. The parking lot is full, and no spots at the far end are open. My God! What do you do?

There is an answer to this million-dollar question. It’s called CREEPING SOMEBODY OUT. It involves starting near the most convenient entrance/exit and slowly following whoever leaves all the way to their car. Do this while in a huge white van without any type of logo, windows, or identification. Wear some dark sunglasses. Crouch down near the steering wheel. It all helps.

I guarantee you’ll get the spot of your choice in short order once the person you follow speeds away like they owe you money. Muwahahaha…

But seriously, what’s the best way? Some people like to circle twice and then pick the best available spot. Others like to find a spot and park immediately, no matter how far out they may be.

What do YOU do? Comment and let a ninja know!

BTW – For the people who try to get closest spot in the parking lot – You lazy ass! C’mon! There are open spaces ten spots down but you’re going to pull up and wait for somebody to pull out closer just so you can get all the way up there?!? You’re blocking the road! Go choke on a box of Ring Dings you waste of life.

ANOTHER THING – For the people in the office parking garage that keep dinging my doors – My prediction is that will be fired soon, probably gain 25% more in body fat, and the husband is probably cheating on you with a younger woman half your size. FACT. Now quit dinging my doors… Thanks.

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