Switching Gears

I would like to preface this post with the fact that apparently the person pictured in my previous video lived. That guy was extremely lucky, and hopefully the man will think twice about following clearance notices, they are there for your protection. However, fate is a fickle bitch who may or may not allow mulligans whenever we fuck up. Other times, unfortunately, we need not make mistakes in order for the random chaos in this reality to take everything away in an instant. I’ve been extremely lucky in life to not have had people close to me be taken away. But earlier this week, I received a stark reminder that nothing, even another second in this life, is guaranteed. This news led me into a a state of reflection and intense introspection unlike any i have experienced before. Sure I’ve had epiphanies, sometimes aided with chemical catalysts and mind vexing problems (like how to let your friends attempt to put you into shopping carts while inebriated) but never a complete reflection that has led me to serious questions, and some answers, about how I live my life and how I relate to other people. This man was a fellow co-worker and while not close like I am with my fellow ninjas, was a person who I considered a friend.

In all it has brought me to reflect on how I relate to fellow human beings. If I was to move off this mortal coil tomorrow, who would know that I cared for them? Who would know that I am thankful for their company and friendship?  Throughout my life, my friends have been mainly transient. Chalk that up to living overseas. Being thrust into a situation where everyone knows that they will know that they are limited in the time they spend together allows me to make friends quickly. However, I have come to realize that this may have actually hampered me in my personal development as while i do make and meet friends quickly, it sometimes is in a superficial manner. Now this is not saying that all my friendships are superficial. Far from it. In actuality many of you are my closest friends. But, i’ve finally realized that it takes way too long for me to switch from that superficial level to the deeper inter-personal level (particularly in relationships). I’ve also realized that this guarded persona has inhibited me from expressing emotions to the people that I know are worthy of it and I ended up missing out. Those of you who have known me for a while know what you mean to me, its those who I needed to move forward but stayed put and unfortunately pushed away that I apologize to.

All in all I want to say thanks. Thanks to Michael Palacios. Dude you reminded me that nothing should ever be taken forgranted. May eternity hold you in its peaceful bliss.

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