Becoming a Dad – How to Deal with Pregnancy Hormones
I was having a conversation with my beautiful seven-month-pregnant love of my life earlier and we actually laughed at how crazy her pregnancy hormones have gotten recently. She said she was “seriously resisting the urge to pour water into the X-Box” while I was fulfilling my timekeeper duties at the Lonestar Beatdown fights this past Saturday night. Thankfully, she says, she calmed herself with ice cream and didn’t leave the bedroom.
Lucky for me.
You see, it’s a catch-22 with pregnancy hormones in the third trimester. They (our pregnant lovers and mothers of our children) don’t ever want us to leave their side for any reason at all. But when we don’t, they often realize that they don’t really want us near them either, simply because we open our mouths. Yeah… apparently we say and do dumb things, us guys. In these times, mine is like, “don’t you have video games to play or something?” and I’m usually scott-free. But God forbid I start playing before she tells me to. Then I’m really in trouble.
Sometimes I get the sneaking suspicion that my role should be entitled “Director-of-keeping-my-mouth-shut-and-bringing-chocolate-on-command-when-told.” And you know what? Sometimes, I’m correct in this suspicion.
It’s a really unusual dynamic and I’m just now getting used to it. When I read back at my previous entries on Becoming a Dad, I find it highly comical that I’ve been talking about these pregnancy hormones for seven months and only now do I feel like I’m truly becoming aware of how to deal with them.
So at the risk of getting my you-know-whats pinched off later, here it is…
What I’ve learned about how to deal with Pregnancy Hormones, the survival guide.
- Pregnant women know they’re acting crazy. Thus, we shouldn’t make them feel crazier than they already do. It’s a touchy thing but as much as these hormones drive us bananas, we sort of have to remember that it’s driving them insane too. So it’s our job to be quiet, say everything will be okay, or just simply be there, depending on what the situation calls for.
- In stark contrast, pregnant women sometimes don’t even realize they’re acting crazy at all. In these times, we also need to let them know when the meanness is too much. I know this advice is entirely contradictory to point #1, but heck, it’s a fine line and if you don’t have the intuition to figure out which way to react, well, sorry to say but you’re going to have a heck of a time when that baby is crying and you’re trying to figure out what exactly it wants.
- If she says she’s hungry, feed her right away. Trust me, she was probably hungry way before she told you.
- In keeping with this food theme, the best way to be forgiven is through the perfect meal. Sometimes, that could mean a cheesy plate of queso, some enchiladas, tacos, and more. Other times, it could be as simple as a glass of milk and some chocolate chip cookies. Nothing, and I mean n-o-t-h-i-n-g will soothe a pregnant woman more than a content stomach.
- Even if you have food, don’t ever expect an apology from a pregnant woman. Don’t bother asking for one either. Doing so will just lead to a litany of other issues you never even knew existed. Just support her through the craziness and cravings. You may be going through a rough time but you don’t know exactly what it’s like to be in her shoes. Trust me on this one as well… Mom-to-be was telling me earlier about how it hurt because felt like the baby was trying to kick through her privates and uhm… yeah… Guys, that was enough for me to acknowledge this point and leave it at that.
So there you have it. I wish I had more but that’s all I have for now. I’ll let you know if I learn anything else to add to our survival guide. Gotta go now. It’s Monday Night Football and I got permission.
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